Peace You Need

I walked the darkest of my days alone. Stood on the rugged cliffs of circumstances praying that someone would save me. Praying that I would fall into your loving arms. Stood in rain with no umbrella, realizing I was the one who would be there to shelter you from the rain. You never had to ask who could stand the rain? I gave even when I couldn’t do for myself. Prayed that you would one day see how much I loved and cared for you. Love, you played so many cruel games, got me slapping cupid on sight. Been waiting on that glimmer of light to lead me to where I’m on the right side of a love song. I continue to give you pieces of me, hoping it would one day make you whole. For so long I hid my vulnerability, because once love saw my softer side, it left me in the cold. Never felt the warmth of your embrace once I let my guard down and you saw pass my “Hard Life”. It’s wild, how you wanted a gentle and softer man, and your love for me ended as soon as I became him. Damn, if I do and damn if I don’t. I Simply wanted to be loved with care as though I was fragile like your heart. I lost who I was and was punished for wanting love in return. See you took and never saw that you was destroying me. I reached for you, love where did you go. Love, I pray that you got what need….. It’s truly not fair… I drink and smoke to forget those memories. I believed and supported you and never thought you would be in my past… Love… Did you get the peace you need?

WRITTEN by JWSJ

Wasting

Sitting on the corner of my bed, fighting back the tears. In the back of my mind I keep pushing the thoughts of me wasting my time.  I see the hand writing on the wall, but I’m waiting on you to tell me that I’m reading it all wrong.  If its real, please let me know. I have no time to waste, I know for a fact that life can be short and waits for no one.  When I look at you, I see my best friend, my lover and my wife. If you feel the same, please communicate with me or let my heart be free. See, I survived this lonely journey to find true love. I crawled for years hoping that I could finally run to the waiting arms of my true love. It seems that I was ready for love, but always at the wrong address.  Am I wrong for wanting the same love and energy that I give.  Sometimes I can’t sleep at night, cause I know my worth is not being matched.  See , I cried so many tears for the love I desired.  See these streams for tears has me drowning in a pool of loneliness.  What is it worth to see a man cry, they say a man is not supposed to cry… but for you I will cry for you.  I was blinded by love and all I can see is you in my arms and as my wife.  I was made to love and I choose to love you.  I’m not ashamed to say that I love you.  I prayed so many times to God to ease this pain and allow me to love.  I walked a thousand miles and I will walk a thousand more lonely miles, if it means that I will find my way back to you. A love like yours, I’m willing to fight for.  I just need to hear, that it’s me you love.

Written by JWSJ

HardLife

Here I am again, sitting in the dark corners of my mind trying not to jump off theses rugged cliffs of circumstances. Been a solider of love for so many years, fighting a loosing battle. At this point in life, all I want is peace, love and happiness. What’s the point for fight for love, when love should be comforting me. Every time,I try to trust my heart and wear it on my sleeve. I end up playing the clown in another sad love song. You tell me that you want a man who’s vulnerable and can give you a soft life. As soon as I reveal that side of me, here you go treating me less than a man. I gave my last and supported you when no one else would. Now, I ‘m regretting choosing to love you with my heart. seem as though love is not returned unless I’m cold as ice. Here is where the line is cross in the sand. Like the hands through the hour glass, our time has come to an end. A man character is judge by a woman who can only bring pussy to the table. Without that, what can you do to make a man happy. See when we first met, it was long conversations about plans of living a happy life. Growing old together and making memories. Looks like I’m the only one who understood the assignment. Now that my heart has turn cold, you seem to can’t get enough of Ike. You claim that you want a soft life with a man who’s going to love you unconditionally , but there’s conditions to your love. Is it really love? Everything I did was out of love. I gave when i didn’t have a pot to piss in. See this was a marathon, not a sprint. I was in it for the long haul. See, you should have keep you eyes on a man who never let his head bow, regardless what life was handing him. Now, look how I bounced right back. The fruits of this pain and grind has produced a man Tailored made to be standing at the alter willing to change your name. But you claim you want a soft life. But a soft life requires supporting a man, even when he’s down. There’s something about a woman who speaks life into a man. How is a man supposed to protect his queen, when she thinks his kindness is his weakness. so, you want a soft life, but give me a hard time being a loving man….

Written by JWSJ

Fool’s Goal

 

 

Here I am, standing in the same place, with the same heart break and singing the same song. I can’t believe that I keep getting taught the same lesson. I can’t believe that all the things I felt were not true. I had one goal and that was to love and be loved unconditionally. I guess I was the fool, who was easy to spot. I wore my heart on my sleeve and right there is where I fucked up. I knew deep down inside things would never work, but pride would never let me admit defeat. I gave until the pain was unbearable. Living a lie, wishing it would become true. I saw all the red flags, but I failed to wave the white flag and run. Even worse, I continued to give and break my own heart. Told you all of my truths and revealed all of my flaws. I let my walls down and you decided to take your turn to destroy a man who was on his bended knees praying for love and happiness. I admit I fell for the false promises and empty efforts. Yes, I was the fool and I played the part. Standing here with the dumb look on my face holding the Oscar for a type casting that seems to be a permanent role. I believed that you would be the one to break this curse. Finally the princess would kiss the frog and turn this prince charming into a reality. Living a dream that was not true, entertainment at its finest. I was the clown in your circus and had not real chance of being the man you could love me. I can’t believe I was this foolish, cause I knew the patterns and the actions that was too close to my past. I can’t blame you, its my fault for chasing a Fool’s Goal.

WRITTEN BY JWSJ

It’s You

For so long, I hid in the darkest corners of my mind hoping that love would stop being so cruel to me. Here you are putting a spot light on me and asking for me to be the one you love. I have stood on those rugged cliff of circumstances and played fool for everyone to see. Always wearing my heart on my sleeves and all the face cards up, no poker face. Trying not to show my scars from lover’s past. But, here I am, you got me falling. Is it your energy or is it your vibe? Whatever it is, it got me singing out loud , all off key. The most beautifulest thing, I have ever seen is when my name is forming off of your lips. If I am dreaming, please don’t wake me. I deserve this feeling and I will fight to make sure this never ends. Forgive me for being in my feelings, but you would too if you traveled my journey. I know, that I have fallen for you. I will give you more than just this “Dick”, I give you my heart, I give you all of me. With your hand in mine, I say yes to loving you with all of my heart and mind. I hope that you can feel my heart skips a beat when ever you are near me. Sometimes I forget to breathe because you are so breath taking. I want to be the wind beneath your wings. I want to inspire you and be your biggest cheerleader. I left childish games far behind me, Here in front of you stands a man who recognizes your worth. I want to get high off of your love and two step in the rhythm of our love. I can’t wait to fall into the softest place on earth and swim forever in the sweetness of your love. Wake up in the sweet morning dew to kiss the corner of your smile. I want to you be my last and forever, It’s You that I submit to.

 

WRITTEN JWSJ

You Forgot

So many years, I’ve been left on those rugged cliffs of circumstances. When I found you, I thought my days of loneliness would come to an end. But along the way, you forgot who I was. There was not a day, an hour or second that I ever forgot to express my love for you. Verbally, Mentally, Spiritually and Physically I gave until I forgot the man that I am. Seems, I was paying for all the wrongs that others who failed you. I’m so sorry, but I can no longer pay for their crimes. I’ve don’t all the little things and all of the extravagant things to show you that I care and love you. But that still didn’t make me the man you was willing to love. I’m sorry, I’m only a man who wanted you on the pedestal so that I could shower you with love and wipe any tears of hurt away. I thought I was there when you needed me and that my loving arms was enough to mend all the hurts that your heart may have felt. See, I’m just a man who was awkwardly, clumsy in love with you. All the work I done, did not let your heart open to see the man who truly loved you. Now , I’m on bended knee in tears, cause the love I gave was never enough for you to see the man I am. All the love that I shared and gave was never enough for you to return. Have I told you. I love you and let the actions follow those words. I know, millions of times and it seems not to be enough. Here on theses bended knees, you have a man that has been broken and abused by a woman, that asked me to be love her unconditionally. You forgot to love in return.

WRITTEN BY JWSJ

#Authentic

MyCurrentSituation… On my lunch break and reflecting on time. Someone said I dress different. Told them I’ve been dressing like this for over 30 years. #Klassic looks always remain in style. I remain #Authentic to myself. It will always be #TheMan in the suit and not the suit on the man. #TheKoolest52YrOldNupeYouEverMet #TheyCallMeMrJames #FashionNupe #FatBoyNupe #ThickemNupe #AManOfACertainMaturity

I Never Liked You

Here I am, fighting to hold back these tears behind my cigar smoke. For so many years, I drowned my sorrow in my #JackandGinger. Love has always played a cruel game and left me on those rugged cliffs of circumstances. I never imagined that I would ever be face to face with you again, never would I believed that Love would offer me another chance. But here you are, causing my heart to skip a beat again. Once again our eyes are locked on each other and time seems to stand still. I let my guards down so many times and was left playing the fool. Praying that this time, you are meant for me. You got me looking over my shoulders to see if the DJ is ready to play another sad love song. Praying that real love will finally show. All I can see is you and me together. It’s a simple touch from you and my world has changed. I can’t help but crave you. So close to jumping off these cliffs hoping to fall into your arms. Its like you are all shut up in my bones and I can’t shake this feeling. I can admit that I’m addicted to you. If loving you is wrong, I never want to be right. Unless its right next to your heart. You got me loosing my cool, got me shimming and its more than just my shoulders that are loose. I can’t wait to step into my next chapter where happiness lives ever after. See I never liked you, I loved you from the start. See you had me at Hello!!!

 

WRITTEN BY JWSJ

I have a story

For so many years I’ve stood on the rugged ledge of circumstances. Hiding my tears behind the smoke of my cigars. Trying to forget my hurts by drowning them in my #JackAndGinger , praying that no one notices. Traveled this lonely road dressed in my loincloth and bowtie, claiming I was a soldier of love. In reality I was a coward. Running from what I claimed to be fighting for. Now my back is against the wall and im facing you. The one thing I claimed I wanted and needed. Love is is looking me right in my four eyes and it has me weak in the knees. I wonder if love understands my story. For so long, I thought I would ever find Love and now I’m embraced by it. When you look in my eyes, will you see us together for a lifetime. Tell me what do you see? If I could sing, it would be a song of joy and happiness. The DJ can finally play a love song that I’m on the right side of. For years I’ve been on time, but dressed for the wrong occasion. This joy is all shut up in my bones and I can’t hold back my feelings for you. Never imagined a sweet hello and gentle smile from you would allow me to smile again. I want to wrap my arms around you and 2 step the rest of our journey as man and wife. I’m not ashame for you to see that this man has been scared by his past and worked to heal. Thank you for allowing me to stand here in the warmth of your sunshine and drink the sweet nectar of your love. Like the sand through an hourglass…. This will be our story of love, understanding, comprehension, commitment and uplifting. As we write this chapter as man and wife….I write a story that lovers and believers will rejoice. Did I tell you??? I have a story……

Written by JWSJ..

Time and Karma

Time and Karma always catches you. I’ve always tried to do right by others. I never seeked revenge on anyone…I just left and kept it moving. I don’t want no parts of the negative energy out there…cause it’s a beast when it finds you .