I want to….

I see you looking at me, you can come closer, I won’t bite. What about me that has your attention? I’m just a simple man that loves the skin I’m in. if you want to get to know me better, simply hold my hand and you can enjoy this thing called life with me. I have to admit that you had my attention from the moment you smiled. I’ve waited a lifetime for a woman like you and I hope this is what my dreams were preparing me for. I pray that I can be your first, last and everything you will ever need. I want to share my happiness and protect you from these pitfalls of love. I want to cater to your every need and cause moments of overjoy. I want to be the reason you smile when you look at your phone. I want to be the man that catches you when you fall. I want to be the strength that helps you overcome the daily obstacles in your life. So much I want to be to you. I want to be the man that dries those tears and make you smile. I want to give you my heart, my love and my last name. Hell, I will change my last name if it keeps you secure. I want to be the reason that your organisms is never ending. I want to be the reason that your walk is so mean. I’m willing to sacrifice it all to keep you protected and loved. I want to……

WRITTEN BY JWSJ

Khapter 47… Never again

I said that I could never love again. I’ve shed so many tears, ran and hid from all that would recognize my face. The one that I trusted with my heart, broke it. It was at a point that I couldn’t feel my face, I no longer recognize the man in the mirror. Walked this lonely road with my head down, ashamed that love was no where to be found. Then here comes you. You saw the hurt in my eyes and the tears that covered my footsteps. You saw the pieces of my heart and decided to mend it. You saw my flaws and imperfections and loved them as though they were yours. You saw a soul that needed comfort and you held on tight. I never thought I could love again and here I am falling in your arms. You have lifted my from dispare and caress my heart. You opened my eyes to a brighter day and shielded me from the rain. You are everything that I thought I could never have in my life. I want to to love you til my last breathe. You have given me reason to be a better man. I want to love to the moon and beyond. You are the the reason my heart skips a beat, I want to swim deep in your sweetness and drown in your love. You are sweeter than the mornings Dew and your lips are the softest place on earth. I can wait to change my name to the luckiest man on earth. I love and cherish you…….

JWSJ

Khapter 47

Yes, my lifestyle has changed… I don’t entertain negativity or negative people, I refuse to allow liars in my circle. Yes, I’m a grown man and will conduct myself as one. I don’t have to explain why I want to remain happy and positive. We all know the elements that will destroy happiness, so why entertain it? I’m very simple person and willing to sacrifice myself for others, but when simple gestures are not appreciated…. Yep, don’t expect anything further. It took 47 yrs to understand, that everyone does not fit in your life and you shouldn’t hold on to people that don’t appreciate you. You don’t have to apologize for what others don’t see in you. Love, happiness and respect starts within one’s self…… JWSJ

#WeAreAFamily

#MyCurrentSituation #MyDaughters #MyPrideandJoys are a true inspiration to me. They are always teaching me something new. These ladies keep me on my toes and keep me smiling. Such a wonderful feeling when I see thier eyes light up…. #SoGood #SoBlessed #WeAreStrong #TeamNoSleep #WeAreAFamily #WeDontRunWeFight #PhuckCancer #FunnyFaces #IGotReasonsToDoBetter #HolliesHeroes #IHopeYouAreListening #WeHateHeartAttacks #Thekoolest47yrOldNupeYouEverMet #KhillyDeeWilliams #SamCooke #TeamLawrence

Never Give up

Up staring at the ceiling, my doctor’s visit wasn’t the best, but it never changed my outlook. And definitely didn’t change my smile. My heart is at 30‰ of strength, a normal heart is at 55‰.  I have  great doctor with a sense of humor. “first time I saw you, and you just had a heart attack and that was how weak your heart was… And 

We still talk about you fighting 

Security when you came out of your coma, and you look way better than you did then..you should be in MMA.” it’s been 7 yrs and he still remembers me acting a fool. I understand the obstacles ahead of me and I’m not scared. I promised my daughter that day I had the heart attack and I kept it… Made another one recently to her and I plan on keeping it. The reason I am open about this, cause there is most likely someone else that’s fighting to live, fighting drug issues, fighting debt, fighting depression, fighting suicidal thoughts and fighting cancer ….. They need to know that they are not alone in any fight. We all can support each other in some fashion. I’ve knocked on the door death before and I did not give up. I refuse to now. I plan on fighting a beautiful fight to get back to where I’m supposed to be. I watched so many of my loved ones fight and I refuse not to fight. I’m simply thankful for the time I have and plan on making everyday a party. Just want everyone to remember to encourage others, because you will never know what is happening behind that smile. And take the time to listen. My support team has been on their job and I’m ready. There is something about God’s Grace and Mercy…. I fear nothing.
I wonder if the person that prayed for me to die… Understood… I was dying… But not without a fight. 

Loving me

Saying that I love you may be an understatement, but I do. For years I have been running from who I am. Simply here and not existing. Too scared to live the life I was given and sparred.  Yes, I said sparred. 04/28/2007,  I had a sudden illness in which my heart rate and blood pressure rose to extreme levels.  Stayed in the hospital several days and nothing was discovered as the cause. 09/08/2010, I had a fatal heart attack while telling a joke and I was saved by a friend. I was laid dead for 30 minutes, and once revived stayed in a coma 1 week. But, here it happens again, a bad reaction to cold meds that was serve enough to simulate a heart attack. I couldn’t  feel my fingers, barley could breathe and my heart was in such pain. 04/22/2017, a few days before my birthday.
The month of April has been a cruel month for me and my family. My first love lost her battle with cancer. Even though our relationship ended years too soon. We still had a chance to mend wounds left by our break up.  Never realize how much she loved my until today. I thought me being there to help her fight her battle was going to be the last thing I would remember. But , she proved that some love never ends.  I am thankful , that God allowed me to give back and never questioned why I was.  Just happy, I tried. Funny how, this month seems to be my season of closing. Crazy, that the day morning I got out of the hospital, I was due in court to have a restraining order placed. Yes, things had gotten that bad. Regardless of how bad I was treated, I always think of others. This was my second time in this court room and I realize that the pain, in my chest would be less hurt than to see someone else hurt.  An innocent person, would be hurt if I proceed with what others stated I needed to protect myself. I saw a young man, that looked upon a loved one for guidance and help, I could not bear for that image that he has for his loved one.  Crazy, that I had prepared videos and screenshots of all I had dealt with, but I was more worried about him.  Life has taught me, all wounds heal and that I am a savior. It would be easy for me to have been selfish and hurt others for what I’ve been through.  Funny, that a familiar face told me that I did the right thing as I left. Regardless of the circumstances I will remain a loving and positive man. I learned I have a lot of love to give and I will finally start loving myself as much .  I have two beautiful angels that love and believe in me. Thankful, that I’m in a different place in my life and I no longer worry about others attempt to lower my standards. I’m just a simple man, who loves life and will always give my heart to others to help them..

Repost.. Relationship Goals

Got a phone call from a person I dated years ago…. They still remembered my birthday and how I liked to spend it.. So, she called the day before so she wouldn’t disturb my father and daughters time. Damn, that was a good friend and yrs, even a better woman. After all these years, she still have this number. I guess this is one reason I never changed it. I never had to ask or beg from anything from her. She actually took me to the beach for my birthday as a surprise. She had my bags packed and the whole weekend planned. Best weekend of my life and she kept surprises coming, even though I hate them. It’s funny how you can pick a convo from where you left off….. And still remain friends…. Even tease me with a photo….. Lol… Yep, pic of fudge brownies, my favorite snack.. Lol… 😁 😁 😁 😁 some women knows what a man needs and like…. 

She knows me

It’s so funny that people want honesty and truth, but be the first ones to deceive you. It is so refreshing to find a person that’s not ashame to be themselves and allow you to know them. That is a special high. Thankful for the one who tore down the walls and was never ashamed to be who they are. They wanted to be loved for who they are, not the fake images so many hide behind. Thankful for the support of close and reliable friends in my life. So glad that I never had to say I never had anyone in my life. My friends understand my fall back game and that I will never allow anything toxic in their circle. I had forgotten how many people hated my driveway, I had gotten use to it being ragged like the journey I was on. But all things can be fix, not sure about my drive way…… 😁, but life has a way of correcting itself and allow you to regain your happiness. Definitely thankful for my daughters and the one who made sure I did not for get the day… Lol…. 

A strong woman…

#MyCurrentSituation #MyDaughter #MyPrideandJoy Mahoganey clowning… She knows how to brighten my day. Besides my mother. This is the strongest, most loving and supportive woman I have ever met. I’m so proud to call her my daughter. I’m definitely blessed and truly thankful. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for my daughters. They are amazing and have a special angel watching over them.##TeamSetzer #WeAreStrong #TeamNoSleep #BonnieandClyde #RoadWarriors #LongNaturalCurlyHairAndDontCare #Thekoolest46yrOldNupeYouEverMet #HolliesHeroes

Don’t tell me….

Don’t tell me….. That love costs,  that the touch of the one costs a fee.  Being able to look into the eyes of the one that captured your heart,  has to be secured by funds. The tender kisses that is sweet as morning Dew can be withheld because my funds are low? Don’t tell me that I can’t  see and be comforted by love because my bank account doesn’t match the next man.  Love is simple and the greatest gift any human being can receive. A simple glimpse of your smile or seeing the look in your eyes when I say I love you would mean the world. Having you so close to my heart,  that my soul smiles. Along the way,  love got replaced by money… Some believe that you love them by the money you spend.  Once you run out of money,  so goes love.  I’m old and I want love like my parents.  A love that was genuine and real.  Where you can sit and hold hands.  Better yet cook dinner together and laugh when washing the dishes.  Then relax on the porch underneath the stars enjoying the company of your mate.  Love like that is classic. A love that makes you write a poem to show your love,  waiting to see their smile….. Don’t tell me…. I can’t have love like that….