Peace You Need

I walked the darkest of my days alone. Stood on the rugged cliffs of circumstances praying that someone would save me. Praying that I would fall into your loving arms. Stood in rain with no umbrella, realizing I was the one who would be there to shelter you from the rain. You never had to ask who could stand the rain? I gave even when I couldn’t do for myself. Prayed that you would one day see how much I loved and cared for you. Love, you played so many cruel games, got me slapping cupid on sight. Been waiting on that glimmer of light to lead me to where I’m on the right side of a love song. I continue to give you pieces of me, hoping it would one day make you whole. For so long I hid my vulnerability, because once love saw my softer side, it left me in the cold. Never felt the warmth of your embrace once I let my guard down and you saw pass my “Hard Life”. It’s wild, how you wanted a gentle and softer man, and your love for me ended as soon as I became him. Damn, if I do and damn if I don’t. I Simply wanted to be loved with care as though I was fragile like your heart. I lost who I was and was punished for wanting love in return. See you took and never saw that you was destroying me. I reached for you, love where did you go. Love, I pray that you got what need….. It’s truly not fair… I drink and smoke to forget those memories. I believed and supported you and never thought you would be in my past… Love… Did you get the peace you need?

WRITTEN by JWSJ

Wasting

Sitting on the corner of my bed, fighting back the tears. In the back of my mind I keep pushing the thoughts of me wasting my time.  I see the hand writing on the wall, but I’m waiting on you to tell me that I’m reading it all wrong.  If its real, please let me know. I have no time to waste, I know for a fact that life can be short and waits for no one.  When I look at you, I see my best friend, my lover and my wife. If you feel the same, please communicate with me or let my heart be free. See, I survived this lonely journey to find true love. I crawled for years hoping that I could finally run to the waiting arms of my true love. It seems that I was ready for love, but always at the wrong address.  Am I wrong for wanting the same love and energy that I give.  Sometimes I can’t sleep at night, cause I know my worth is not being matched.  See , I cried so many tears for the love I desired.  See these streams for tears has me drowning in a pool of loneliness.  What is it worth to see a man cry, they say a man is not supposed to cry… but for you I will cry for you.  I was blinded by love and all I can see is you in my arms and as my wife.  I was made to love and I choose to love you.  I’m not ashamed to say that I love you.  I prayed so many times to God to ease this pain and allow me to love.  I walked a thousand miles and I will walk a thousand more lonely miles, if it means that I will find my way back to you. A love like yours, I’m willing to fight for.  I just need to hear, that it’s me you love.

Written by JWSJ

Fool’s Goal

 

 

Here I am, standing in the same place, with the same heart break and singing the same song. I can’t believe that I keep getting taught the same lesson. I can’t believe that all the things I felt were not true. I had one goal and that was to love and be loved unconditionally. I guess I was the fool, who was easy to spot. I wore my heart on my sleeve and right there is where I fucked up. I knew deep down inside things would never work, but pride would never let me admit defeat. I gave until the pain was unbearable. Living a lie, wishing it would become true. I saw all the red flags, but I failed to wave the white flag and run. Even worse, I continued to give and break my own heart. Told you all of my truths and revealed all of my flaws. I let my walls down and you decided to take your turn to destroy a man who was on his bended knees praying for love and happiness. I admit I fell for the false promises and empty efforts. Yes, I was the fool and I played the part. Standing here with the dumb look on my face holding the Oscar for a type casting that seems to be a permanent role. I believed that you would be the one to break this curse. Finally the princess would kiss the frog and turn this prince charming into a reality. Living a dream that was not true, entertainment at its finest. I was the clown in your circus and had not real chance of being the man you could love me. I can’t believe I was this foolish, cause I knew the patterns and the actions that was too close to my past. I can’t blame you, its my fault for chasing a Fool’s Goal.

WRITTEN BY JWSJ

It’s You

For so long, I hid in the darkest corners of my mind hoping that love would stop being so cruel to me. Here you are putting a spot light on me and asking for me to be the one you love. I have stood on those rugged cliff of circumstances and played fool for everyone to see. Always wearing my heart on my sleeves and all the face cards up, no poker face. Trying not to show my scars from lover’s past. But, here I am, you got me falling. Is it your energy or is it your vibe? Whatever it is, it got me singing out loud , all off key. The most beautifulest thing, I have ever seen is when my name is forming off of your lips. If I am dreaming, please don’t wake me. I deserve this feeling and I will fight to make sure this never ends. Forgive me for being in my feelings, but you would too if you traveled my journey. I know, that I have fallen for you. I will give you more than just this “Dick”, I give you my heart, I give you all of me. With your hand in mine, I say yes to loving you with all of my heart and mind. I hope that you can feel my heart skips a beat when ever you are near me. Sometimes I forget to breathe because you are so breath taking. I want to be the wind beneath your wings. I want to inspire you and be your biggest cheerleader. I left childish games far behind me, Here in front of you stands a man who recognizes your worth. I want to get high off of your love and two step in the rhythm of our love. I can’t wait to fall into the softest place on earth and swim forever in the sweetness of your love. Wake up in the sweet morning dew to kiss the corner of your smile. I want to you be my last and forever, It’s You that I submit to.

 

WRITTEN JWSJ

#Authentic

MyCurrentSituation… On my lunch break and reflecting on time. Someone said I dress different. Told them I’ve been dressing like this for over 30 years. #Klassic looks always remain in style. I remain #Authentic to myself. It will always be #TheMan in the suit and not the suit on the man. #TheKoolest52YrOldNupeYouEverMet #TheyCallMeMrJames #FashionNupe #FatBoyNupe #ThickemNupe #AManOfACertainMaturity

I Never Liked You

Here I am, fighting to hold back these tears behind my cigar smoke. For so many years, I drowned my sorrow in my #JackandGinger. Love has always played a cruel game and left me on those rugged cliffs of circumstances. I never imagined that I would ever be face to face with you again, never would I believed that Love would offer me another chance. But here you are, causing my heart to skip a beat again. Once again our eyes are locked on each other and time seems to stand still. I let my guards down so many times and was left playing the fool. Praying that this time, you are meant for me. You got me looking over my shoulders to see if the DJ is ready to play another sad love song. Praying that real love will finally show. All I can see is you and me together. It’s a simple touch from you and my world has changed. I can’t help but crave you. So close to jumping off these cliffs hoping to fall into your arms. Its like you are all shut up in my bones and I can’t shake this feeling. I can admit that I’m addicted to you. If loving you is wrong, I never want to be right. Unless its right next to your heart. You got me loosing my cool, got me shimming and its more than just my shoulders that are loose. I can’t wait to step into my next chapter where happiness lives ever after. See I never liked you, I loved you from the start. See you had me at Hello!!!

 

WRITTEN BY JWSJ

I have a story

For so many years I’ve stood on the rugged ledge of circumstances. Hiding my tears behind the smoke of my cigars. Trying to forget my hurts by drowning them in my #JackAndGinger , praying that no one notices. Traveled this lonely road dressed in my loincloth and bowtie, claiming I was a soldier of love. In reality I was a coward. Running from what I claimed to be fighting for. Now my back is against the wall and im facing you. The one thing I claimed I wanted and needed. Love is is looking me right in my four eyes and it has me weak in the knees. I wonder if love understands my story. For so long, I thought I would ever find Love and now I’m embraced by it. When you look in my eyes, will you see us together for a lifetime. Tell me what do you see? If I could sing, it would be a song of joy and happiness. The DJ can finally play a love song that I’m on the right side of. For years I’ve been on time, but dressed for the wrong occasion. This joy is all shut up in my bones and I can’t hold back my feelings for you. Never imagined a sweet hello and gentle smile from you would allow me to smile again. I want to wrap my arms around you and 2 step the rest of our journey as man and wife. I’m not ashame for you to see that this man has been scared by his past and worked to heal. Thank you for allowing me to stand here in the warmth of your sunshine and drink the sweet nectar of your love. Like the sand through an hourglass…. This will be our story of love, understanding, comprehension, commitment and uplifting. As we write this chapter as man and wife….I write a story that lovers and believers will rejoice. Did I tell you??? I have a story……

Written by JWSJ..

Every time……

Every time, I hear your name, all of a sudden the butterflies start to form and so many memories of you cause me to smile. If you truly understood what you do to me, you would see how much I cherish you. I wish I was the one you leaned on when the world starts tripping and don’t understand the light you bring. I want to protect you and shield you from the rain. I want to give you all the courage and support you need to be the beautiful woman you are. Right now, I know that every day won’t be sunny, but your smile will always brighten my day.  If you are looking for anyone who would love you unconditionally, listen to your heart and provide a safe space for you to grow.  Here, I am.  I don’t care about your past, I just want to be the one that you allow to love you in the present and the future. I see the hurts of your past and the ugliness of how it made you feel.  I want to love you until all you see and feel is the beautiful woman you are.  I want to mend your heart and give you the happiness you deserve. I want to be the made that you prayed to God for. I want to hold you for the rest of my life. I hope that I’m not praying a fool’s prayer, when I pray that you see the man that I am and allow me to be the one you choose to love. Every time I hear your name…here come those damn butterflies.

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WRITTEN BY JWSJ

Waiting

Sweetie, Suga foot, honey bun is a few love names I may call you that should be sweet upon my tongue, but nothing sweeter than calling you Mrs Setzer, my wife. From the moment I saw your smile, I was stucked. I wanted to gently kiss the corner of your lips where the smile starts. Stare in the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen, eventhough I can see your pain in them, I also see the strength you have to hide the hurt. I pray one day, that I can be the man in your life to comfort and protect you. There is so many things I wish I could reveal to you, but I was raised not to awaken love in a woman and you’re not man enough to for fill all of her needs. Unfortunately, I have things I’m dealing with and trying to build myself strong enough to be the man in your life. So, I stand on the sidelines rooting and praying for you. I just wish the men that had the chance to have your attention, that failed you. Could see how great of a woman you are. A woman that is intelligent,caring, humble, humorous and hard working. A woman that’s comfortable in sneakers or heels. A woman who’s walk is hypnotizing and touch that is from the heavens above. I wish I could tell you how much I care and want you. I hide behind this #JackAndGinger while #Pssita. I want to be the man that never failed you, so I’m grinding to match your drive and hustle. I’m so caught up in you, I’m so scared that I might write I love you in your mentions, therefore I skip your posts. I’m just a simple man and all I have is my heart and soul to give you. But I know you deserve so much more…. And more you will have. I wish my words could reach your heart and you could see how much I’m touched by your presence. You are everything I’ll ever need and I pray that I’ll be the one to make your heart smile.

WRITTEN BY JWSJ

Louder

Up late staring at the ceiling. Trying to form the words in my mind to tell you how much I love and need you. Sometimes words get lost in translation, but hopefully the actions behind these words speak louder for me. You are all I want or will ever need. When I look into your eyes, I get stuck and emotions take over. We’ve both been hurt and we have our walls guarded. But, for you… I’m willing to allow my heart to be conquered. For you, I’ll wave the white flag. A simple touch of your hand, got me on my bended knees, asking if you’ll take my last name. It’s easier to say I love you behind words, but I trying to put the work behind those words. You are the air I breathe, the clouds that reveal the silver lining that keeps leading back to your smile. I want to two step with you in my arms. I want you to fill this warm embrace and to never let go. When I look into your eyes, I see the love we both deserve and need. You are everything I want and need in a woman. I’m just as scared as you to fall, but I promise I will catch you. I’m imperfectly designed for you. It’s just me and you. In you, I see my Michelle to my Obama…. Naaaaa, I see My Queen to my Slim, cause I’m willing to give my life for a love like yours. For a moment in time to freeze, so I can finally enjoy what it feels like to be loved by a wonderful woman like you. For you, my heart is yours…. It’s so easy to say I love you, but I hope my actions speak louder than these words.

WRITTEN BY JWSJ