Peace You Need

I walked the darkest of my days alone. Stood on the rugged cliffs of circumstances praying that someone would save me. Praying that I would fall into your loving arms. Stood in rain with no umbrella, realizing I was the one who would be there to shelter you from the rain. You never had to ask who could stand the rain? I gave even when I couldn’t do for myself. Prayed that you would one day see how much I loved and cared for you. Love, you played so many cruel games, got me slapping cupid on sight. Been waiting on that glimmer of light to lead me to where I’m on the right side of a love song. I continue to give you pieces of me, hoping it would one day make you whole. For so long I hid my vulnerability, because once love saw my softer side, it left me in the cold. Never felt the warmth of your embrace once I let my guard down and you saw pass my “Hard Life”. It’s wild, how you wanted a gentle and softer man, and your love for me ended as soon as I became him. Damn, if I do and damn if I don’t. I Simply wanted to be loved with care as though I was fragile like your heart. I lost who I was and was punished for wanting love in return. See you took and never saw that you was destroying me. I reached for you, love where did you go. Love, I pray that you got what need….. It’s truly not fair… I drink and smoke to forget those memories. I believed and supported you and never thought you would be in my past… Love… Did you get the peace you need?

WRITTEN by JWSJ

Wasting

Sitting on the corner of my bed, fighting back the tears. In the back of my mind I keep pushing the thoughts of me wasting my time.  I see the hand writing on the wall, but I’m waiting on you to tell me that I’m reading it all wrong.  If its real, please let me know. I have no time to waste, I know for a fact that life can be short and waits for no one.  When I look at you, I see my best friend, my lover and my wife. If you feel the same, please communicate with me or let my heart be free. See, I survived this lonely journey to find true love. I crawled for years hoping that I could finally run to the waiting arms of my true love. It seems that I was ready for love, but always at the wrong address.  Am I wrong for wanting the same love and energy that I give.  Sometimes I can’t sleep at night, cause I know my worth is not being matched.  See , I cried so many tears for the love I desired.  See these streams for tears has me drowning in a pool of loneliness.  What is it worth to see a man cry, they say a man is not supposed to cry… but for you I will cry for you.  I was blinded by love and all I can see is you in my arms and as my wife.  I was made to love and I choose to love you.  I’m not ashamed to say that I love you.  I prayed so many times to God to ease this pain and allow me to love.  I walked a thousand miles and I will walk a thousand more lonely miles, if it means that I will find my way back to you. A love like yours, I’m willing to fight for.  I just need to hear, that it’s me you love.

Written by JWSJ

Fool’s Goal

 

 

Here I am, standing in the same place, with the same heart break and singing the same song. I can’t believe that I keep getting taught the same lesson. I can’t believe that all the things I felt were not true. I had one goal and that was to love and be loved unconditionally. I guess I was the fool, who was easy to spot. I wore my heart on my sleeve and right there is where I fucked up. I knew deep down inside things would never work, but pride would never let me admit defeat. I gave until the pain was unbearable. Living a lie, wishing it would become true. I saw all the red flags, but I failed to wave the white flag and run. Even worse, I continued to give and break my own heart. Told you all of my truths and revealed all of my flaws. I let my walls down and you decided to take your turn to destroy a man who was on his bended knees praying for love and happiness. I admit I fell for the false promises and empty efforts. Yes, I was the fool and I played the part. Standing here with the dumb look on my face holding the Oscar for a type casting that seems to be a permanent role. I believed that you would be the one to break this curse. Finally the princess would kiss the frog and turn this prince charming into a reality. Living a dream that was not true, entertainment at its finest. I was the clown in your circus and had not real chance of being the man you could love me. I can’t believe I was this foolish, cause I knew the patterns and the actions that was too close to my past. I can’t blame you, its my fault for chasing a Fool’s Goal.

WRITTEN BY JWSJ

It’s You

For so long, I hid in the darkest corners of my mind hoping that love would stop being so cruel to me. Here you are putting a spot light on me and asking for me to be the one you love. I have stood on those rugged cliff of circumstances and played fool for everyone to see. Always wearing my heart on my sleeves and all the face cards up, no poker face. Trying not to show my scars from lover’s past. But, here I am, you got me falling. Is it your energy or is it your vibe? Whatever it is, it got me singing out loud , all off key. The most beautifulest thing, I have ever seen is when my name is forming off of your lips. If I am dreaming, please don’t wake me. I deserve this feeling and I will fight to make sure this never ends. Forgive me for being in my feelings, but you would too if you traveled my journey. I know, that I have fallen for you. I will give you more than just this “Dick”, I give you my heart, I give you all of me. With your hand in mine, I say yes to loving you with all of my heart and mind. I hope that you can feel my heart skips a beat when ever you are near me. Sometimes I forget to breathe because you are so breath taking. I want to be the wind beneath your wings. I want to inspire you and be your biggest cheerleader. I left childish games far behind me, Here in front of you stands a man who recognizes your worth. I want to get high off of your love and two step in the rhythm of our love. I can’t wait to fall into the softest place on earth and swim forever in the sweetness of your love. Wake up in the sweet morning dew to kiss the corner of your smile. I want to you be my last and forever, It’s You that I submit to.

 

WRITTEN JWSJ

You Forgot

So many years, I’ve been left on those rugged cliffs of circumstances. When I found you, I thought my days of loneliness would come to an end. But along the way, you forgot who I was. There was not a day, an hour or second that I ever forgot to express my love for you. Verbally, Mentally, Spiritually and Physically I gave until I forgot the man that I am. Seems, I was paying for all the wrongs that others who failed you. I’m so sorry, but I can no longer pay for their crimes. I’ve don’t all the little things and all of the extravagant things to show you that I care and love you. But that still didn’t make me the man you was willing to love. I’m sorry, I’m only a man who wanted you on the pedestal so that I could shower you with love and wipe any tears of hurt away. I thought I was there when you needed me and that my loving arms was enough to mend all the hurts that your heart may have felt. See, I’m just a man who was awkwardly, clumsy in love with you. All the work I done, did not let your heart open to see the man who truly loved you. Now , I’m on bended knee in tears, cause the love I gave was never enough for you to see the man I am. All the love that I shared and gave was never enough for you to return. Have I told you. I love you and let the actions follow those words. I know, millions of times and it seems not to be enough. Here on theses bended knees, you have a man that has been broken and abused by a woman, that asked me to be love her unconditionally. You forgot to love in return.

WRITTEN BY JWSJ

#Authentic

MyCurrentSituation… On my lunch break and reflecting on time. Someone said I dress different. Told them I’ve been dressing like this for over 30 years. #Klassic looks always remain in style. I remain #Authentic to myself. It will always be #TheMan in the suit and not the suit on the man. #TheKoolest52YrOldNupeYouEverMet #TheyCallMeMrJames #FashionNupe #FatBoyNupe #ThickemNupe #AManOfACertainMaturity

All I want

Al I want to do is show you love. I have all the time to show you. When do you have the time for me to place you on this pedestal of love? You deserve to be love unconditionally, given support, listened to and understood. I’m trying to show you that I’m worthy of the job of caring for your heart. I’m trying to comfort you with my soul, if you will have me. All I want to do is show you all this love that’s waiting only for you. I’ve stopped running from, what’s been calling my heart to you. All this love is for you..

WRITTEN BY JWSJ

Love….

Upon these bended knees, I give you my heart and devote my last breathe to making you my wife. Never has love felt so right. You have given me my second wind. Life has beaten me down to a crawl. It seemed impossible to smile. I thought my heart would never feel love again. Then came you and my life changed. For the first time in my life, I understand that I don’t have to fight for love. The one that’s designed for you will give it freely. In you I found honesty, loyalty and trust… A solid foundation for happiness. I no longer pray alone, there is a difference when you are holding your rib’s hand, when you are thanking God for his mercy and grace. I found that love with the right one can make the worst day, alright. I don’t have to ask if you can stand the rain, cause you have shown me that we’ll play in the puddles until the sun decides to shine. You have healed my broken heart and loved a man that was broken by life. It takes a great and loving woman to look past a man’s exterior and find his soul. Words can not express how much love and admiration I have for you. I can swim forever in your eyes and drink every ounce of your sweetness. Kiss the softest lips that God has created and breath life into your hips. You are an amazing woman that’s beautiful inside and out. I thank you for giving me, what life had taken away from me…. Which was love…. I love you…

WRITTEN BY JWSJ

Vulnerable

I want to be vulnerable and let my guards down for you. I want to forget any and everything that hurt, that kept me from loving you. I want give up these guarded walls that kept your warm smile from touching my heart. You have given me more than I could ever dream. You have shown me love and taught me how to love again. For so long, I felt I was on the other side of a love song, doomed to be hurt and left alone. You saw my worth and cherished my flaws. You loved my imperfections until they were yours. You caught me when I was falling and guided me to where love could be found. In you, I have a best friend, a lover, a comforter and protector. You are the woman of my dreams and the air I breathe. Words can never truly describe, what you have done to my life. My tears , now have a different meaning. No longer ashamed of love that was lost, but overjoyed in what I have found. I have fallen awkwardly in love and I’m geeked up off of your love. If this is the way love is supposed to feel, I want to be in love for the rest of my life. With you, I have found happiness and a place to lay my heart. No longer dressed for the wrong occasion. I no longer have to fight for love, no longer a soldier of love; there no need for my armor. To you, I surrender all of my love. In you I have found my first, my last and my everything. I love you.

WRITTEN BY JWSJ

I love you because….

I love you because of simply who you are. You do not need to hide your imperfections, flaws or scars. Those are the things that make you beautiful and has made you a permanent resident in my heart. You should always feel welcomed in my arms. I love you because you don’t have to hide who you are. You are everything that I need in life. Being yourself is one of the most magical thing in your life and you sharing that with me has allowed my guarded walls to fall. Never believed in love at first site has never looked into your eyes. A beauty like no other and your eyes speaks of your wonderful journey. The strength and courage you have and removed all doubts, that you are a woman like no other. You are sweeter than morning Dew, softer than the clouds that you have me floating on. You are my rib and my heart. You are an important part of my life. I can’t wait to taste how your day has been, so that I can kiss the most softest lips on earth. Drink love from the fountain of youth. Thank you for being you…….. This is for every woman, that needs a smile, a hug and most importantly… Needs to be loved……

JWSJ